Kissing that magazine cover goodbye.

After a rather smokey and cuss-filled popcorn battle, the score is Me: 2, Stove: 5. I think I'm going to buy a hot-air popper. But the popcorn that was not burned was really good.And that wasn't the first inanimate object to turn on me today. I decided to wear my "cheap is how I feel" necklace/choker thing today for the first time in months. Apparently my neck has gotten bigger since then, as I nearly strangled myself putting it on and every time I yawn I feel like I'm going to pass out. It's gone from (questionable) fashion accessory to suicide attempt. Not sure what I'm doing tonight. The people who ARE available seem unappealing tonight, and the people I DO want to see are gone/working/busy. I'd like to indulge in some intensive retail therapy, but I'm still tight on money til friday, and spending limits mean nothing to me. Pbbbt. Maybe I'll try to redeem myself by baking some cookies. The oven still loves me.

Do you Yahoo?

milesfrommyhome (me): A pleasure "speaking" with you, and I hope all goes well. And GO TO THE PARTY!!!namechangedtoprotecttheinnocent: really?milesfrommyhome: SOMEBODY needs to get a new year's kiss, and since it's probably not gonna be me, I pass the torch to you.namechangedtoprotecttheinnocent: awwwwmilesfrommyhome: Yes, another sexually frustrated Hallmark moment.I also talked to my intimidating "bowling for columbine" friend tonight. God I hate people who are funnier than I am. Otherwise I've just been a cleanin', cuttin' and pastin', tea makin' machine! Baking cookies is on the tentative schedule for sunday. I will make the cover of Quaint Magazine if it kills me!

You TRY to be nice...

From my friend with the man problem:"YOu HO BAG!!! I can't believe you did that....your so dead...I'm on my way home right now!"Now I ask you, is THAT in the holiday spirit? That's a "bah humbug" if I've ever heard one! Did somebody tell her that the last guy I tried to set her up with has a record? Nothing major, he just vandalized a golf course or something.At any rate, I've now got a "turn of the century New York slum" decorating theme in my bathroom. If only I could get the light bulb to flicker... And my mailbox key finally worked. A couple bills and a christmas card for the former residents. Hooray!

Thank God it's Friday

My bathroom ceiling is leaking. The ceiling is mushy, the wall is bubbling, and there is a stream of water from the ceiling to the counter. I guess the upstairs neighbors are running a dolphin rescue program. They make the oddest noises in the middle of the night.eh.

And he dresses like Johnny Cash

So a millionaire won the Powerball jackpot. I'm sure that fact pisses a lot of people off, but not being a big lottery fan myself, I say "bwa ha ha!!!" "'I just want to thank God for letting me pick the right numbers — or letting the machine pick the right numbers,' said Whittaker"Well put, Jack, and congratulations. The American dream lives on.

I'm all out of creativity for this one

I talked to my best friend from high school this evening. He's in town for a couple weeks, and his Southern Baptist girlfriend is with him. I actually get to meet her this trip, which should be a trip in itself. This is a girl who changed churches out of shame when she was seen at Wal-Mart in blue jeans. My friend once got the silent treatment for hours for using "the H word". I'm sure we'll have a lot to talk about, especially since Fred Phelps was recently in their town. Another one of my friends e-mailed me today asking for help in finding man. So here it is: My (female) friend needs a man. If you're short, ugly or if your idea of first date chit-chat is "I think I'm gonna barf", you are not the one. She's 22 (I think), good lookin', an excellent dancer, quite horny, and she's probably reading this. :) I'll post a picture as soon as I can. This is what happens when you leave town over New Year's!!! Besides, I only have like 4 days to find my own man. I like helping people.

Have we lost sight of the true meaning of Boxing Day?

My mailbox key isn't working. It hasn't worked all week. This happens from time to time, but it's usually self-correcting and has never gone on this long. The real pisser is that my roommate is gone til the 6th, so I can't use his "magic key of consistent openage". Grrr....Work was boring and I was bitchy. I've perfected the art of being bitchy and insulting in a professional and helpful manner. I'm thinking I'll write a book on the subject.I'm starting to wonder why it is that there seem to be a lot of people who love Creed and a lot of people who voted Republican, and yet I know none and few of them, respectively. I smell a conspiracy.